Sunday, August 17, 2008

Oh No I Didn't

Oh No I Didn't

Oh no I didn't........ I did not, I know I did not do that! Did I ? OMG I did do that! After fifteen, sixteen, or seventeen years I cannot believe that I would even toy with that idea let alone do it............ Nope, I don’t think so...... Why in the world would I do that? I am not that tired! After all it involves another’s life and dreams and future........ Oh no I could not do that!

But I did and I did it a few weeks back..... I remember doing it now that HE mentioned it. I remember saying it out loud to my DH.........What was I thinking........ AND I did it without hesitation and I did not give it another thought until last Sunday. It was last Sunday that my Father God brought it to my attention. I was having an ok Sunday until the Father God just spoke one word! OMG, Compromise. How could I have done that?

I compromised something that I have been praying for these many years ! Oh my gosh how easily we can be lulled to sleep .........

For the past 15 years or so I have been praying for a very very specific thing. When I first started praying it was a "casual prayer" and it was something that I wanted to start doing for another person. I need to pray into their lives wisdom and understanding. I wanted this person to have eyes wide open as they made decisions for their lives. Thus it was about 15 years ago that I began to pray a very specific request from God. I wrote scripture on 3 x 5 cards and carried them with me and every once in a while I would take one of the cards out and pray the scripture that applied to my request. I studied the word of God and made sure that I was not praying amiss and that what I was praying was in line with the word, and so I prayed. ,

Jam 5:16
Confess [your] faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

As the years passed on I began to pray with a little more feverency. I felt that there was an urgency after 10 years or so and it sure was not that the Father God did not hear...... so it must be that I needed to pray with a bit more "guts" so to speak, and so I prayed more gusty. (Is that a word?) So for the past 3 to five years I have prayed with ferverancy. There were times that I could see the answer with spiritual eyes getting so close and then something would happen and the enemy would throw a wrench into the works and here we go again and my spiritual vision would be fuzzy and I would have to move back into faith without seeing......... I was growing weary of that but I had no choice, I continued to pray. Now I wish that I could share with you what I am talking about but it is not important that you know, I just want you to understand that we do not have to let go of our dreams and our desires and we need to hold fast to those things that we have placed in the Fathers hands.

This circumstance is that of another person and I have prayed and prayed and believed and bound the enemy and loosed the Holy Sprit..... I have paced my halls and walked around my yard with the constant prayer on my lips....... I know that I know that I know that the Father God has heard, and if HE has heard then HE will answer. This is the confidence that I have. That is a promise from the word of God..........

1Jo 5:14

And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us:

1Jo 5:15

And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him.

BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!! Here is what I did........ a few weeks ago now I was musing over this situation and I said out loud to my DH........ I guess this is something that is just not going to change and I guess this is not so bad......Maybe I need to resign myself to this and understand that it will be ok! I said that! After 15 or 16 years of praying and believing........ OMG........... I compromised my faith and I compromised the years that I have prayed. compromise says that second best is good enough and that God is not good for HIS word. No matter how long it takes or what we see with our eyes we should never compromise our faith.

The Father God brought this to my attention a few days ago and OMG.........My heart broke and I cried. Oh not because my Father had to chastise me , but that the person that I have been standing in the gap for all these years is a precious person to me and is so deserving of all that I can fight for. This person has been faithful to me and stood beside me when there was no one else to stand.

How easy it is for us to crumble under the weight of time, and the weight of the unseen answers and prayers that linger for years.

So now the Lord has instructed me that I am not to compromise my faith and that I am to hold fast to those things that I have placed within His hands............ It is a warfare and we are not to grow so weary that we abandon our faith and fail those that we love.......... oh my............. I had to repent......... but now I have to change my strategy.............. I am not sure what comes next but HE is faithful to see it to the end......... My confidence is in HIM and not what I see or feel or fear. I have confessed and repented. I am ready for instruction, I am ready to see this through to it's proper end.

I have cried over this ladies, my heart was broken because of my failure to stand. We are the only thing sometimes that lies between our loved ones and the enemy of their soul. I have renewed my petition to the Lord and once again I am in the gap, and HE will answer.

Hbr 10:35

Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompence of reward.